When did you know you were gay?@Anonymous
Part of me has always known, like when I was 11 and awkwardly followed around my female basketball coach because she made my stomach feel all knotty and I didn’t know why, I just knew I wanted to be around her. I was 11, I didn’t know what that meant but I had internalized enough heteronormativity and homophobia to know that I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about it. Then I dated this guy, the only guy I ever dated, and I would wake up next to him and think, fucking hell… this can’t be right. It was a tolerable intimate relationship but, in my life, I knew it was and could be so much better than tolerable. Then I met a girl that I felt so strongly for that it terrified me and when she reciprocated I pushed her away as hard and as fast as possible.
Then I fell for someone who made coming out worth it, so I did. I was 23.