I need to stop. I need to just stop beating the shit out of myself everyday. Thinking the meanest, fucking cruelest things I can possibly think of and hurling them at my own chest in a way that immobilizes my ability to do anything but shut down. 

I’d like to say I wouldn’t accept it from anyone else, but I do. I have. I likely will in the future. 

I don’t know why I’m not worth more to myself. I don’t fucking get it and I don’t know how to deal with it. 

text posted 7 months ago with 579 notes
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